The Gill Gals

(I'd love it if you'd listen to this. I love this song. <3)

I really do love that song. I heard it for the first time yesterday and have just been listening to it...... over and over and over. haha *strange me* =P Anyway, I was thinking of doing some more linkups and contests. Would that be fun? :) I love doing contests--they're the best--but I'm not quite sure if you guys would enter... there's like almost nothing more discouraging then having like nobody entering your linkup/contest/etc. =P

Anyway, I didn't really you guys, but... I wrote my own play on Monday/Tuesday. As you can imagine, it's not very long. I just wrote it in one of my many writing notebooks (I always seem to be collecting them.....), actually on the way to get my knee checked out, but anyway....

Anyway, so I'm going to post it on here. I'd love to know how you guys liked it. :) I'm kind of scared... I've only read this play to one other person. I hope you guys enjoy this. Please tell me what you think of it. :) (and, of course, who, YOU'D want to play!!! :))

OK, here it is... ;)

The Gill Gals

Shamrock Loames: Oh, hello! Didn’t see you there! My name’s Shamrock Loames. No, no, not Sherlock Holmes, Shamrock Loames! Though I admit that my observing is positively acute…! Why am I here, you ask? Why, my friend! I have a story to tell! You have time to spare? Oh, good! Very good in deed! Well, our story starts in one of those small towns in England by the name of Cider Keg. There lived there a butcher, by the name of Mr. Lean.

Mr. Lean: (enters left stage on “butcher”) Hello! (exits right stage)

Shamrock Loames: And a school teacher named Ms. Whitt.

Ms. Whitt: (enters left stage on “school teacher”) Hello! (exits right stage)

Shamrock Loames: And Mrs. Sly, the librarian.

Mrs. Sly: (enters left stage on “librarian”) Shh! (exits right stage)

Shamrock Loames: And, of course, the old shepherd, Mr. Ent.

Mr. Ent: (enters left stage on “shepherd”) Eh, what’s that? (exits right stage)

Shamrock Loames: Of course, there were lots more people in the town…alright, well, a few, but they don’t really come into our story. Oh, yes! How could I forget?! And living in that small town of Cider Keg, there lived a mother and a daughter named Amy and Samantha Gill.

Amy and Sam: (enter stage left on their names) Golly good! (stay on stage, staring around as if inspecting)

Shamrock Loames: Now Amy and Samantha Gill were no two ordinary women, for they had their own detective agency called Gill Gals Detective Agency.

Amy and Sam: (use their magnifying glasses to look around for clues)

Shamrock Loames: And it just so happens that a very interesting thing was about to happen. (exits right stage)

Amy: Samantha, I say, what’s that smell?

Sam: Mom, remember? I’m Sam now. And I don’t know what the smell is. It’s like rotten meat or something.

Amy: How peculiar!

Sam: We are right by Mr. Lean’s butcher shop.

Amy: True.

Mr. Lean: (enters right stage) Hello, lovely ladies. Anything I can do for you today?

Sam: Do you have rotten meat in your shop?

Amy: Samantha!

Sam: Sam.

Amy: Sam!

Mr. Lean: Um, no.

Sam: Thank you. See, there was this awful…

Mr. Lean: I say, what’s that smell?

Amy: That’s what we were trying to figure out.

Mr. Lean: You are the detectives.

Sam: Oh, halloo! Here comes Mrs. Sly!

Mrs. Sly: (enters stage left)

Amy: Hello, Mrs. Sly.

Mrs. Sly: I say, what’s that smell?

Amy: That’s what we were trying to figure out.

Mrs. Sly: Did you heart about the lord that’s coming to town?

Sam: The what?

Mrs. Sly: The lord. His name is Sir Thomas Blake. Apparently he’s just arrived from Scotland.

Sam: I say! How extraordinary!

Mrs. Sly: Oh, look, here he comes now!

Mr. Lean: That’s not some lord! That’s Ms. Whitt!

Ms. Whitt: (enters stage right on “that’s”) giggle I’m not some lord! I’m giggle the teacher! giggle

Mrs. Sly: Humph.

Ms. Whitt: I say, what’s that smell?!

Amy: That’s what we were trying to figure out.

Sam: Don’t start that again.

Sir Thomas Blake: (enters stage left, followed by Mr. Stout)

Ms. Whitt: gasps The duke!

Mrs. Sly: He’s a lord!

Sir Thomas Blake: Halloo! Lovely to meet you all. Could anyone direct met to the house of Amy and Samantha Gill? I’ve heard that they lived around here, and I’ve wanted to meet them my whole life.

Sam: mutter It’s Sam.

Amy: I am Amy Gill, and this is my daughter, Saman…(Sam elbows her)…I mean, Sam.

Sir Thomas Blake: Oh, jolly good, jolly good! I say, what’s that smell?

Mr. Stout: I believe that’s rotten meat, sir.

Sir Thomas Blake: Really? How…extraordinary.

Mrs. Sly: Sir, may I ask why you’re here?

Sir Thomas Blake: Why am I here? My good lady, I’m coming home. I have just retrieved a beautiful diamond from my father’s safe deposit box back in London. I’d fallen so in love with your beautiful country that I decided to stay here instead of going back to Scotland.

Mrs. Sly: Ah.

Ms. Whitt: giggle Diamond? I do so love shiny things! giggle

Mr. Ent: (enters stage right on “diamond”) So do crows! Caw, caw! (does crow imitation)

Sam: Isn’t that magpie?

Amy: Well, it’s some kind of black bird.

Sir Thomas Blake: Now, I must be going back to my room at the hotel. I bid you all a good day.

All: Jolly good.

Sir Thomas Blake: (exits stage right, followed by Mr. Stout)

Ms. Whitt: Who was that man with him? giggle giggle

Mr. Lean: His slave, I suppose.

Amy: That would be servant, kind sir.

Mrs. Sly: I’d give anything to know his name!

Mr. Ent: It’s Mr. Stout.

Mrs. Sly: How’d you know that?

Sam: Perhaps Mr. Ent knows Mr. Stout.

Mr. Ent: That I do.

Mrs. Sly: How peculiar.

Ms. Whitt: Did you hear what he said? A diamond! I sure hope he shows us it.

Mr. Ent: (stars suspiciously leaving stage right ,and is gone by the time Ms. Whitt’s done talking)

Mrs. Sly: Indeed.

Amy: I hope no one steals it.

Sam: Well, then we’d have another mystery. I do love mysteries.

Mr. Lean: Well, I’ve got to be going.

Mrs. Sly: Oh, yes!

Ms. Whitt: Oh, dear me, yes!

Lean, Sly, and Whitt: Goodbye! (exit stage left)

Amy: Well, that was peculiar…

Sam: What was? Mr. Ent sneaking of or Ms. Whitt’s obsession with Sir Blake’s diamond?

Amy: Ent.

Sam: Ah, of course.

Amy: Ready to work?

Sam: Always.

Shamrock Loames: (enters stage right on “always”) And so our two friends went around the village and asked after Mr. Ent. (Sam and Amy pretend to search and talk to people) But they came up empty handed. (Sam and Amy hold up empty hands) Dejected, they went back to their cottage and went to sleep. (walk to opposite ends of the stage and lay down) Meanwhile (Sam and Amy get up and leave whatever side of the stage they were on), Sir Thomas Blake was discussing an important matter with his personal servant, Mr. Stout. (Shamrock Loames exits stage left)

Sir Thomas Blake: I say! Did you know that old geezer? You stared at him the whole time I was talking!

Mr. Stout: He’s…and old acquaintance of mine.

Sir Thomas Blake: A good one?

Mr. Stout: No.

Sir Thomas Blake: What, is he your brother-in-law or something?

Mr. Stout: Of course not!

Sir Thomas Blake: Well then what is it? Spit it out, man!

Mr. Stout: The last time I saw him, he was “borrowing” (quotes with fingers) my silver.

Sir Thomas Blake: Ah. I see.

Mr. Stout: I thought he was in jail. Apparently not.

Sir Thomas Blake: I suppose I should watch “it” (quotes with fingers) carefully?

Mr. Stout: The diamond?

Sir Thomas Blake: (hesitates) Of course.

Mr. Stout: Yes, yes, and make sure you keep it far from that giggling woman. She’s just plain creepy!

Sir Thomas Blake: I couldn’t agree more, Mr. Stout.

Shamrock Loames: (enters stage left on “more”) And so Sir Blake and his companion rested down peacefully, sure that “it” (quotes with fingers) was safe. (Sir Thomas Blake and Mr. Stout go to opposite sides of stage and lay down. Snores permitted) The next morning (Blake and Stout get up and yawn and stretch) Sir Blake went to check on “it”. (quotes with fingers) Meanwhile, Mr. Stout aired out the room…

Mr. Stout: I say, what’s that smell?

Shamrock Loames:…and then waited for Sir Blake to back from checking “it”. (quotes with fingers)(Sir Thomas Blake and Mr. Stout exit stage right) Amy and Saman—I mean, Sam, (Amy and Sam enter stage left) were having tea with jam and toast when they heard an unearthly howl.

Amy: I say, what’s that sound?

Sam: I don’t know. I suppose we should go check it out.

Amy: Yes, let’s.

Shamrock Loames: And so our friends hurried out of their cottage and down the street. (Amy and Sam start running around) It wasn’t hard to find where the howling was coming from, because it hadn’t stopped. (exits stage right)

Amy and Sam: (end up with their backs towards stage left)

Sir Thomas Blake: (stars shrieking, howling; enters stage left and scares Amy and Sam)

Amy: I say, what’s the hullabaloo all about?

Sir Thomas Blake: Someone has stolen my diamond!

Sam: Yes!

Sir Thomas Blake and Amy: Yes?!

Sam: Well…uh…I mean, now there’s a mystery for us to solve!

Sir Thomas Blake: Oh, would you help me?!

Amy: Of course!

Sam: Could we see where it was where your diamond disappeared from?

Sir Thomas Blake: Of course! Follow me!

Shamrock Loames: (enters right stage on “of”)

Sir Thomas Blake, Amy, and Sam: (exit left stage)

Shamrock Loames: Sir Blake, Amy, and Sam went back to the hotel where Sir Blake was staying. They were met by a frantic Mr. Stout. (exits right stage)

Mr. Stout: (enters left stage on “met”) Oh no! Oh no, oh no, oh no! It’s gone!

Sir Thomas Blake, Amy, and Sam: (enter stage right on 4^th “oh no”)

Sir Thomas Blake: Mr. Stout! There you are! Please tell these young ladies exactly what happened.

Amy: Oh, please do.

Sam: We’re just itching to get our hands on your mystery.

Mr. Stout: Well, I woke up this morning and came into this room to check on the diamond. But it was gone!

Sir Thomas Blake: Aha!

Amy and Sam: (jump) What?!

Sir Thomas Blake: I think I know how the thief got into the room!

Mr. Stout: How, sir?

Sir Thomas Blake: Remember how you aired out the room yesterday?

Mr. Stout: Well, yes.

Sam: So the thief climbed in one of the windows!

Mr. Stout: But, sir, you were checking the diamond then.

Sir Thomas Blake: No, no, I as checking to make sure that the fake paste one was in place.

Amy: Oh dear.

Sam: Mind if we look around?

Sir Thomas Blake: Please do.

Amy and Sam: (take out magnifying glasses and pretend to look around)

Mr. Stout: Have you found anything?

Amy: Not yet.

Sam: Aha! (picks up black feather)

Sir Thomas Blake: What?!

Sam: Uh, um, nothing. (sticks feather in pocket)

Amy: (saw feather) Ah. Gentlemen, you will have to excuse us.

Sir Thomas Blake: Did you find anything?

Mr. Stout: Yes, did you?

Amy: Well, um, we’ll get back to you.

Sam: Yes, we’ll get back to you. (grabs Amy’s arm and starts to walk away quickly) Goodbye!

Amy and Sam: (exit right stage)

Sir Thomas Blake: That was rather strange.

Mr. Stout: Yes. It was.

Shamrock Loames: (enters left stage on “yes”) Sir Blake and Mr. Stout decided to leave the case in the Gill Gals’ hands.

Sir Thomas Blake and Mr. Stout: (exit right stage)

Shamrock Loames: Meanwhile, Amy and Sam were busy inspecting. (exits left stage)

Amy and Sam: (enter right stage on “meanwhile”)

Amy: So, are we really…?

Sam: Yep.

Amy: Are you sure?

Sam: Yep. Come on, let’s go and get a ladder.

Amy and Sam: (exit right stage)

Mr. Lean, Ms. Whitt, and Mrs. Sly: (enter left stage on “go”)

Mrs. Sly: I say, where on earth are the Gill Glas going?

Ms. Whitt: giggle I don’t know!

Mr. Lean: I say, are they taking my ladder?

Mrs. Sly: Yes, they are! Why on earth are they propping it up against that tree?

Ms. Whitt: Goodness! Is that a  diamond that they’ve taken from that magpie’s nest?

Mr. Ent: (enters left stage on “goodness”) It’s a crow’s nest!

Ms. Whitt: (jumps in fear/surprise) It’s a magpie!

Mr. Ent: Crow!

Ms. Whitt: Magpie!

Mr. Lean: Bird!

Mr. Ent and Ms. Whitt: Bird?!

Mrs. Sly: Shh! The Gill Gals are coming this way!

Amy, Sam, and Shamrock Loames: (enter right stage on “shh”)

Shamrock Loames: Yes, and they were quite happy with themselves.

Amy: I say, what great detecting, Sam!

Sam: Why, thank you!

Amy: I suppose we should get “it” (quotes with fingers) back to its rightful owner.

Sam: Hey, look! Here comes Sir Blake and Mr. Stout now!

Sir Thomas Blake and Mr. Stout: (enter stage left)

Sir Thomas Blake: Halloo! What did you find out? Have you caught our thief?

Sam: No, he got away.

Sir Thomas Blake: What?!

Amy: But he’s quite harmless.

Sir Thomas Blake: Well, who is he?

Amy and Sam: A magpie.

Mr. Ent: You mean crow!

Mr. Stout: Well, you might be an old crow, but the ladies said magpie!

Mr. Ent: I say, Stout! Most unkind!

Mr. Stout: Oh, yes, Ent! And I’d thought that you were the thief!

Mr. Ent: I say!

Sir Thomas Blake: Gill Gals, how’d you know it was a magpie?

Mr. Ent: Crow.

Sam: Well, see, when we got to your room, I found a magpie feather. (holds it up) It made sense that when Mr. Stout aired out the room that a magpie…

Mr. Ent: Crow.

Sam:…could’ve flown in and taken the diamond. They do love shiny things.

Amy: Exactly! And here it is. (hands Sir Thomas Blake diamond)

Sir Thomas Blake: Yeek!

Amy: I say, what’s the matter?

Sir Thomas Blake: (runs off stage left with diamond)

Sam: What was that all about?

Mr. Stout: I have no idea. Maybe he doesn’t like you touching the diamond.

Amy and Sam: (glare at Mr. Stout)

Sir Thomas Blake: (runs back on stage left with hands behind back) Ah! Good! You’re all still here!

Sam: What on earth was that about?

Sir Thomas Blake: Well, you see, when you two handed me the diamond I realized something.

Amy: Realized what?

Mrs. Sly: That it wasn’t yours?

Mr. Lean: That it’s dirty?

Ms. Whitt: That since a magpie…

Mr. Ent: Crow.

Ms. Whitt:…got his claws on it that you don’t want it and are giving it to me?

Sir Thomas Blake: Of course not! I realized that the gem that the Gill Gals took from the magpie’s…

Mr. Ent: Crow.

Mr. Stout: Stop saying that!

Sir Thomas Blake:…was the one made of paste! (shows hands with both diamonds)

Amy: Oh my goodness!

Sam: Crumbs!

Mr. Lean: Really?!

Mrs. Sly: How extraordinary!

Ms. Whitt: Oh my oh my oh my!

Mr. Stout: Thank goodness. It was looking smudged.

Sir Thomas Blake: Yes, isn’t it amaz—I say, what’s that smell?

Mrs. Sly: Mr. Ent, I’m positive that that horrible smell is coming off your person!

Mr. Ent: Eh? Oh, you’re just smelling my lunch!

Mr. Stout: Your what?

Mr. Ent: (opens coat to reveal two big pieces of rotting mutton hanging from string around his neck) See?!

Everyone else: Eww!

Mr. Lean, Sir Thomas Blake, Mr. Stout, Mrs. Sly, and Ms. Whitt: (hold their noses and exit stage right)

Mr. Ent: (exits stage left)

Shamrock Loames: (enters stage left when the others are gone) And so the Gill Gals had solved yet another mystery, and they couldn’t wait for their next one.

Sam: That smell really was awful.

Amy: Yes, I suppose so… Say! We left our breakfast, didn’t we? Let’s go home.

Shamrock Loames: And so the Gill Gals went back to their tea with jam and toast, and everyone in the town of Cider Keg lived mysteriously ever after… At least, I would think so. Ta-ta for now! (tips hat and walks off stage right)

The End

Did you like it? :) Please tell me what you think about it...... ;)