My Computer is Old


i stare at the computer screen. the graphics sometimes aren't the best, but i love it. it's old. it's not new. we bought it old. we bought it used. but it doesn't matter. because i love it. i love the keyboard. i love the fonts. i just love every part of it. even the strange games that didn't come with other computers, for when i was bored. i just love it. my old computer.

My computer is old. I was actually going to get a laptop, for writing stories, you see. (I don't write stories on this computer. I do it on "my" computer that stays in my room.) We'd been looking at laptops for awhile, and then my mom came home with a really old computer.

"This is for you," she said. "It works, and I thought you'd like it."

At first, I was kind of hesitant. I mean, I'd been wanting a new laptop. But after awhile, I loved it. Even though it's rather old, and doesn't have internet connection. It doesn't matter.

My computer is old. But I love it.

It has glitches, it has funny things, but I'm familiar with them. I know how to take care of them. I know how to do different things on it. I love reading the stories on it. I love everything about it. I know it's old, but I love it.

It's not as nice as others, or maybe not as nice as I'd first dreamed. But, really, it's been an awesome computer for me. The next computer I want is a laptop, but in the meantime, I'm going to be enjoying my computer. It's old. But I love it.

Long Time No Post (a sad record)

WARNING:
prepare yourself for a potentially very long and random post.


Hey, guys!!

Oh my gosh, I feel like I've been dead on here. =P

Yeah, well, you'll have to excuse me, as I have some legit reasons why I haven't been on here. (and by the way, I really did want to write on here. But a few things kept me from doing so... I really missed you guys. It just showed me that I never want to, EVER, stop blogging.)

First off... LONG TIME NO SEE!!!! I've missed you guys so much. <3

And thanks to everybody who was praying for Toby. Unfortunately, we had to put him down, not just because of the sores, but because of other reasons associating with the fact that he's always been rather protective, especially of my mom, because of his bad experience in the puppy mill. But, anyway, thanks to everybody who prayed.

Oh my gosh, guys!! We are SO CLOSE to 150!!!!! I really can't wait to tell you guys my name. :) I've seriously been like freaking out I'm so excited. (because I seriously do love my name. And I love Storyteller, but sometimes it kind of seems... um... unpersonable. =P You know what I mean? Like I'm not even a real person. Which... I am... Anyway....)

While I was gone, I seriously have been coming up with a whole bunch of awesome story ideas. (one revolving around a girl named Odessa... don't you just love that name?.....) And I'm thinking on contacting a little somebody about some ballet... I really do love ballet, but if I write a book about it, I want to make sure I get it right, right? (wow, that sounded a little funny...)

I have been reading A LOT lately. Like I finished three books the day before yesterday, I believe it was. (except one of them was half finished already from the night before. But you get the picture. I WAS READING A LOT.) Have you guys ever heard of those books about Enola Holmes, Sherlock's little sister? They're pretty good, though I'd definitely say +12, as they aren't Christian books. The woman who writes them, Nancy Springer, I believe her name is, has a wonderful writing style that makes the books really enjoyable to read. (they're pretty funny... though I would've written them a little bit differently.) She managed to capture the voice of 1889 London while still giving it a funny voice that was fun to listen to. (yes, this is coming from the girl who got bored reading Alex Rider.)

Also, I took it upon myself to memorize this verse: "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life God promises to those who love him." James 1:12 (yes, I did that off memory. Yay!) If you haven't memorized that verse, I really enjoyed doing so, and I'd encouraged you to do that, too. :)

I also have some new plans for blog designs for my other blogs. How scary. =D

We have finally sold one of our puppies!! Yay!! Well, it's a little sad, because come on, they're stinking cute, but we really do need to sell them, because it's really hard to take care of them, what with my dad having cancer and everything and all of the treatments that we're having to go through for all of that...

Speaking of my dad's cancer... he's going to be having radiation starting not this week but the next. I'm not sure during that time how much time I'm going to have to post, but I'll try to sneak in time whenever I can grab it. Who knows? Maybe I'll have more time then ever. It seems I keep on getting surprised with all of the time I end up having on my hands...

My therapy for my torn ACL's going pretty good, though sometimes it takes a lot of willpower to go runningcoughcoughjoggingcoughcough or biking. (I personally prefer biking, because... coughcough... it's easier... coughcough....) Though sometimes, of course, when I'm doing a plank it makes me wonder if running's really as bad as I always think it is when I'm doing it...

By the way, I feel really bad about not being able to comment on your blogs for the last five days, either. :/ Makes me feel horrible... and wouldn't that be awful if I couldn't visit you guys during my dad's treatments?? Man, that would be really sad. If that happens, please understand that I really wish I could leave you guys a comment, and please don't get seriously mad at me. :(

Last night, my friend and I went on Amazon Prime and watched a movie that we both love... Man from Snowy River. (Amazon Prime is awesome, just to say...... I don't even know how we got it free. =P But I only think it lasts one more day... which is sad... anyway...) Have you ever watched the Man from Snowy River? Gah, I love that movie. It's so awesome. And, as my friend says... "They all look so much better in the first movie." I believe she was referring to Jessica's crazy hair in the second movie. lol Her hair is crazy. =D (but I seriously think Jim looks like a little kid in the first one...) Anyway, love that movie. My friend's learning to play Jessica's Theme on the piano. It's sooooo pretty. She's so talented. :)

Anyway, I suppose I'm boring all of you out there, so I'll bid you a fond farewell.

Farewell. :)


Crazy Hair

Hair.

Sometimes that word sounds like it's in a foreign language.

I mean, seriously.

I'm so bad with hair.

Like... you know how sometimes when you're at camps or even at school or something, girls will do each other's hair, and usually they line up to one or two people to do it? Yeah, well, the only thing anybody ever wanted me to do in their is a messy bun. (yes, I hath perfected it. Oh yeah. lol ;D)

I'm not really going to tell you much about my hair, but I'm just going to say... it's crazy. Like... seriously crazy sometimes. (especially if I don't put this special gel stuff that my friend got me. Yeah...) And like I said, I'm really bad with my own hair. That's not just other people's hair. Like... I think I wear a ponytail almost every day. Yeah. Talk about sad.

BUT.

I have gotten out of the only thick headband stage, which is rather a relief, because I think I'm much uglier with the thick headband. Now I'm into the thin-headband-with-messy-bun stage, which is a little better. At least, I think so...

(OK, OK, sometimes I just get so mad at my hair that instead of having the patience to straighten all of my hair, which usually doesn't take very long because I start singing to myself [like I think last time it was the My Uncle was a Monkey song... I don't remember...], so I just grab that headband and a ponytail and put it up. #confession)

Yeah, I have to straighten my hair to get it to look anywhere near "perfect". I'm actually a really bad person to do hair on. (like... have other people do my hair) Because I'm always going, "Ow ow ow,  that hurt!" and wiggling like crazy. Either that, or I get so bored I start singing an annoying song that makes the hairdoer give me a glare. (actually, I mostly just do that to this one friend of mine. Mostly because she's the one I'm around the most, thus the person who wants to do my hair.)

Are you a whiz at hair? Or are you like me, completely clueless? (well, mostly...)

I CAN'T WAIT TO TELL YOU MY NAME!! :)
#excited
#lovinghashtagseventhoughimnotontwitterandmostlybecauseofmyveronicastoryondragonmaster

Concert

Thanks for all of your lovely comments!! :) I finally got to read them this morning. All of those posts? (from Friday through Sunday) Those were scheduled. Yeah, so where on earth was I?!

Well, I got the chance to go with some great friends to a free Christian music festival, which had a whole bunch of awesome artists at it. (yeah! I totally got a picture with Jason Gray! Ya know... the "Good to be Alive" guy???)

Anyway, I was super excited to find out that For King and Country was going to be there (because come on, I love their songs! Well, some of them... anyway...) so I was right up at the railing when they came on. Let's just say I didn't like them in person as much. (first off, they were kind of off tune and stuff, and then they were a little too showy for my taste. I mean, some people would say that they "put on a fun show", but if I'D done some of that stuff, I would've felt pretty stupid....) But guess what!! You know how I said I was at the railing????!!! Well, the lead dude (what's his name) jumped off the stage, stood right in front of me, and put his hand on my shoulder. By the time he'd left, I was pondering whether I should be excited that I was touched by the For King and Country guy or whether I should be freaked out that he touched me on the shoulder. (um... yeah....)

Someone else I really enjoyed seeing was Bebo Norman. (oh yeah... he said his mother would want everybody to know that she didn't name him Bebo--that's just what his younger sister called him because she couldn't say big brother... isn't that cute??? Anyway...)

The concert was really awesome. Let's just say that. =D

Anyway, I'll be talking to ya'll tomorrow. And thanks so much for 141 followers!! Oh my word!! That's so amazing!! And I'm SUPER excited to tell you guys my real name. :) God bless!


Tip from Me to You (writer stuff)


As a fellow writer talking to another fellow writer, I'm just going to be blunt.

Looking at inspiring pictures on pinterest doesn't always inspire the best story idea.

*gasp*

Phew, I said it.

I mean, yes, it does help some. It helps get the places and ideas into place. Like you could see one picture and think "now I know exactly how to describe this one place because I saw the picture". (as you can guess, I'm a very visual person)

But sometimes the best way to gain inspiration isn't by that.

It's by watching movies and reading books.

And having your own experiences that you can draw on from. (this is not to suggest that you pack your bags and head off to Alaska to go and research your Ice Age book)

But really. I think that watching movies is really helpful because I'm so visual, and reading the books helps because I can see how other writers describe things and how they make it seem real for me. (or how they made something seem unreal and how I would make it seem more real if I was writing the book)

Also, when I read a book, I keep my mind open and keep on thinking, "If I was writing the book, what would I do at this point?" Or, "How could you change this? What would have happened if this had gone differently?" (like me reading Alex Rider? "Hmm... what if the main character was a girl and she was in that restaurant with the glass roof as he hurtled over it on his motorcycle and..." Yes, a very dangerous thought, me reading Alex Rider...)

So that's my writer's advice for today. :) God bless... <3

Perfect

I love that feeling when everything's perfect.

(your first reaction: Um, well, yeah, duh...)

But I'm serious. I do. I mean, usually when we think of everything being "perfect" there's kind of like this voice in our heads that snorts, "Oh, yeah, right..."

(at least, in my head. Maybe I'm the only one here who has that sarcastic other person in their head.)

But I'm serious. There's just some of those times when everything just seems... right. You feel like you're right with God, right with your family, right with your friends... you've taken care of everything that you needed to, done everything that you wanted to, and now you can just settle back and just kind of relax. Because everything's perfect.

I love those times, especially since they don't come that often. Usually my life is one big mess that just makes this pit in the bottom of my stomach and that voice in my head go, "Ugh." Ugh ugh ugh ugh. I just get sick of it and wish it was all over. And wish that that perfect time would come back.

I'm in one of those perfect times. Back up on that mountain. I know that a valley's coming soon, but for right now, I'm just going to enjoy these times, up here on the mountain, with God, feeling that everything's perfect. <3

perfect
everything falls into place
everything is where it's supposed to be
we're all laughing and smiling
it's all right
it's all perfect

Fire and Ice


Rick Rory has always been a popular kid. Everybody likes him--he's just got this friendly personality that everybody loves. But suddenly things start to change. Things about him. Things he can do. And somebody's after him.

Mackenna Carter has always been an unpopular kid. Nobody really likes her--she's too cold and scary for everybody. Like ice. She hasn't always know the mysteries surrounding her life. But she's about to find out.

Together, the two of them will have to face their fates and find out just how much they're willing to lose to do what's right.

First off, I want to say that...

1. The only reason I'm writing this post is because that^ picture reminded me of this.
2. This was an old story idea of mine that rather died.
3. Rick Rory's name was not supposed to copy author Rick Rhiordan's name. (did I even spell that right??)

I seriously can't count how many times I have tried to redo this story idea. The main point is that Rick and Mackenna have powers. Rick's called Fireboy, because he controls fire. Mackenna's called Icegirl, because she controls ice. Somehow there was supposed to be this school for kids like them and they're supposed to defeat all of these bad guys.

Oh yeah. And their series was called the Fireboy Trilogy.

(poor Mackenna. Left out of the name. lol)

I seriously have no idea why it did. It was really good.

Well... maybe because I had characters, but I didn't really have a very good story plot??

I don't know.

(but now I keep on thinking, "Man, that was a stinking cool idea...")

Though if I did redo their story sometime (after I finish the Unusuals *cough cough*) I would probably rename their story Fire and Ice Triology. Just sayin'.

Do you guys think that this story actually sounds like a pretty good idea? I mean, I think it does. I just don't know if you'd be interested in reading if I ever finished it and ended up posting it and everything. (I mean, what's the point of posting it if you guys think it sounds stupid?)

Anyway, I'll talk to ya'll later. :)

(I'M SO EXCITED ABOUT TELLING YOU GUYS MY NAME AND EVERYTHING!!)
(sorry, a little over the top excited here... =P)

Rowan


OK.... so.... Poem Girl asked me to draw a picture of Rowan from our story about Pernisia and Rowan. (I write Rowan's part...) I wasn't quite sure how I wanted her to look, but this is what I managed to come up with. (just imagine she has red hair... and sorry about the bad picture quality--our scanner died awhile ago... like maybe half a year??... so I had to take this with the computer's camera. Yeah. Wow.)

So, how did I do? :)

AS--The Revelation

Calm down, Arawyn. I will explain things, but you might not understand everything. You must promise that you will never tell anybody but the King what we are about to tell you.

I immediately thought of Damien and Brumby.

Not even the boy and his father.

I didn't want to. Everything in my body fought against it. Why couldn't I tell them? It almost didn't seem fair. I glanced around again. Still there was only nothingness. Whatever it was was waiting for my answer. I felt it.

"Alright," I whispered. "Just tell me."

* * *

It has been fabled that whoever looked into the lake, if they were the right person, they would be told their destiny; their true calling.

"Yeah, I know that," I glared around in the darkness. I still had no idea who or what was talking to me.

This is not quite right.

I gulped. What?

The truth is that only those who have a mission that lies on the fate of the world will be helped through the Lake.

"I'm... I'm supposed to save the world?" I whispered.

Yes. Your mission is the most important one that will ever come into your world. The fate of the world, and your own, lies on what you do next. I can only tell you what you need to do, and then you must do it.

Slowly, I nodded. "Alright."

You are the rightful heir of this kingdom. You are really the Princess Arawyn.

I suddenly felt dizzy, and reached out to grabbed something, but there wasn't anything there. I collapsed on the ground.

You must find the Lost Locket and go and regain your kingdom before it is taken over by the Archduke of Corenth.

I was half hearing the person. I was a princess? The princess? How could this be? It didn't seem... possible. And yet was true. So true...

"Oh my gosh," I whispered. "I'm Princess Arawyn."

I have said everything I can say. I am now sending you back.

My eyes closed.

i have a loud mind


I write better then I talk. I can think of a million things to put on paper. (err... computer screen) But sometimes when I'm trying to get what I mean out of my mouth, it just doesn't come out the way I imagined it. And besides, I can write poetically and "romanically" (err, you know what I mean, like inspirational?) but when I talk like that... mean, I feel like a weirdo.

Sometimes it's hard for me to get out what I'm trying to say, you know? I know the feeling, I know what it is, it's just... I don't know how to say it. It's hard for me. Maybe it would be easier if I wrote it down, I don't know. Usually things seem to make more sense that way. Like when I let a non-rhyming poem flow out of me. It's rather like what I feel.


It's so hard. And yet sometimes I feel like I then end up saying the wrong thing. It's it just that. Wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. It annoys me to pieces. I just want to get it out, but it's so hard.

I'm not really a quiet person, you know? I'm sometimes rather loud. But that's around my friends and people I know. Around people I don't know? I'm pretty shy. Usually. Unless I make myself do stuff. Like come over and say hi and introduce myself. Sometimes that ends kind of awkwardly, but at least I did it.

But my mind's always working. Always thinking. Always wishing. Trying to figure out why I'm so scared. Why don't I just want to do it? What am I afraid of? Failing? Them thinking I'm stupid? What is it?


I have a loud mind. It's always thinking. Sometimes, when I'm by myself, I'm having mini conversations with myself in my brain. (and sometimes it comes out. That's the embarrassing part... because then if somebody hears you, they think you're crazy.... or a hobo broke into the house...)

Sometimes I just don't know how to express how I feel.

But I'm trying.

Thanks for reading. <3

P.S. Oh my gosh, I'm so excited!! (this doesn't quite sound like the same person who just wrote that^, but I don't know care. I'M SO EXCITED!!!!!) I finally figured out the design I want for the 150 mark. Get ready, peoples!!! ;D

a blog is like a book

I've often heard of a blog being somebody's diary (and often thought it myself), but really, a blog is also like a book.

Every single post I make on here, and every single post that you make on your blog, is just another chapter of the story that makes up our lives. Every little comment is a little note in the margin that tracks what we were thinking and feeling when we read it. Every label is a little bookmark that brings us back, again and again, to that same spot. The header of every blog is the book cover, drawing a reader in. The number of followers is the number of readers. Sometimes people just haven't found the book yet. But they will. As you make changes to your blog--change the design, the name, sometimes even the purpose--a new book has begun, rather like a series. And every single part is special and unique in its own special way.

Every single blog is a book. What kind of a book is your blog? Is it a fantasy book? A short story book? Maybe a book of poems? A book that's written like the diary of a girl? What kind of book is your blog? My blog? I don't know. Maybe a kind of random book that chronicles the crazy adventures of a girl who doesn't want anybody else in her new town to know her name. Who knows. I suppose it's the adventures of a slightly sarcastic girl, too. (well, I mean, I guess I'm more then slightly sarcastic)

What kind of book is your blog?

And what does your book say about you?

A Big Prayer Request

This wasn't the post I was planing today.

At all.

It seems that tragedy again strikes.

Our dog, Toby, has like weird scabby things on his neck that might be tumors/cancer. If that's so, we're going to have to put him down.

First off, let me explain his story and why this would be the most tragic ending ever for him.

We were looking for a dog to be a daddy for us so that we could make some really cute puppies. So we contacted this lady who said that she had the perfect dog for us. So we road off down to her house.

It was a puppy mill.

Well, I mean, it was exactly one, but that's what it SEEMED like.

The places stunk like crazy and all of the dogs looked matted and uncared for. I felt so bad for all of them. The lady kept on lying, not showing us the dog she'd promised on the phone.

When she finally brought him out, we saw him as the grossest dog there. He was just one big mat. His scared big brown eyes stared out at us. He was the perfect size, though. And I could see it on my mom's face--she wanted to get that poor dog out of there.

It was Toby.

We brought him home, gave him like seven baths until he was clean, and cut off his hair. He was so cute. But he didn't know how to do anything. He was literally scared of his own shadow. He didn't walk very well. He couldn't even hop up on the porch. He couldn't do anything.

We didn't know for sure, but we were pretty sure he'd been kept in a kennel all his life.

Oh, you should've seen the day when he found out he could run. He had the most blissful look on his face as he ran like crazy, jumping on and off the porch, sometimes running into things because his perception wasn't very good because it was the first time he'd ever run in his entire life. He looked so... so happy. He'd never been happy.

So that's why it's so sad. To be born in a puppy mill and put down at the vet's. I don't know if he's in pain right now, at least if he was then in pain he would just be put out of his pain.

Please pray that it won't be cancer or a tumor and that they'll be able to get it out and he'll live for several more years. It would mean so much to me. <3

When I get to 150...

i sat at the old wooden table, and groaned. i was staring at my notebook, names scribbled all over the page.

"well, it's got to be something," i muttered to myself, writing down another idea.

all i knew was that the old name just didn't cut it anymore. mostly because i couldn't do anything with it. to me, it was almost like a dead name. it wasn't alive for me anymore. it didn't work for me anymore. i couldn't do anything with it, because it always looked... little kiddish. or something. it just had to go.

"come on," i hissed, writing down several more names that came to mind.

and then there it was, on the page.

i smiled.

First off, that short story is supposed to be describing a person we all know.

Me.

I haven't wanted to change this blog's name, but I finally feel like I really have to. I've been trying to get a new design up, but I can never get a header I liked. At first, I thought it was just me and wanting a new font from Fontsquirrel. (oh, what wishful thinking...) But I soon realized, after using a different name just for fun, that it wasn't me who had lost my inspiration. It was my name that had lost my inspiration.

As sad as that sounds, it's not really sad. Storyteller of Weston County will always be here. And, I mean, come on! The blog address will always stay the same. :) I hope you're not too mad. But don't worry: it's not going to be happening for awhile. And, also, there's some exciting new things coming with it!!

So, when I reach 150 followers, I will do the following:

1. Change my blog name, keeping the old URL. (http://storytellerofwestoncounty.blogspot.com/)
2. I will change the design. (with above said name)
3. I will reveal my real first name. The real one, ya'll.

YES. I'M GOING TO TELL YOU MY NAME. AM I THE ONLY ONE LOOKING FORWARD TO 150 NOW?!?!

Gotta go...

her name is Alice

"follow me."

her head whipped up at the sound. who had spoken? for she was alone in the woods. there was no living form in sight.

"follow me," the voice repeated.

a small rabbit skittered across the path. she felt more lost then ever. why had she ever strayed away from the party? why? she was mad at herself. now she would be lost forever in the woods.

the rabbit turned its head towards her. "follow me," it said. then it took off running.

"wait!" she yelled, hurrying to keep up in her heels. "wait!"

she hurried after the rabbit, suddenly wondering what on earth she was doing. chasing a talking rabbit through the forest? if she ever told anybody that, they would think she was crazy. or worse, just acting like a child again.

the face of her Aunt Matilda came into her mind, all warty and unibrow. "you'll never amount to anything in this world, Alice Heathrow! You are the most unresponsible sixteen year old that ever walked the earth! if you ever disappeared, everyone would be happy, because you were off their hands! nobody cares about you, Alice. you might as well face the facts! you're useless! worthless! ugly, horrible, disgusting, rude, shy, disrespectful..." the words went on and on. Alice closed her eyes to keep the voice out.

she turned around the bend of the trees just in time to see the rabbit jump into what looked like some kind of wooden box, past her middle in height, and about as long as she was tall. how on earth had the rabbit jumped that high? she teetered over and her heels and grabbed the edge for support, glancing down into the whole.

the next thing she knew, she was falling.

when her eyes opened, she was in Wonderland.

Hope you enjoyed that short story. ;) The picture just reminded me of Alice... for some reason. (as for the title... if you didn't know, there's a heavy rock song that I don't like made for the new Alice in Wonderland movie staring Johnny Depp {*shiver*} and the chorus goes, "HER NAME IS ALICE...!" And the only reason I know that is because somebody I know played it. =P)

I never liked the Disney movie Alice in Wonderland as a kid. In fact, it freaked me out. Beyond belief. I always liked the part where the cards are painting the trees, because then that meant that the movie was almost over.

Usually when I watch a scary movie, I'm not really scared because I'm afraid some physco killer is going to get me, I'm more afraid of the bad dreams that I'll get. And I feel like Alice in Wonderland is just one, bad dream that keeps on going and going and going...

And it's called a Disney classic.

Wow.

I don't know about you guys. Do you guys like the movie? Think it's great? Good for you. All I can tell you is that my kids (if I ever have any) will never watch that movie when they're younger. If they want to when they're older, fine with me. But not while I can save them from nightmares. ;)

The Storyteller of Weston County, signing off...

God Will Always Be There for You


"Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear."
Isaiah 59:1

Lately I've been feeling like a rather horrible person. (which you might've guessed from my latest posts) And I mean, I am. In a "everyone's a sinner" type of way. And there's things that I need God's help to change. And there's things that I need to learn. But still. It's depressing. Or, should I say, it was depressing.

Everybody's sinned. I've sinned. A lot. And sometimes it's on those big sins that you just feel like you're the most horrible person ever and nobody's ever going to forgive you. It just feels... horrible. Doesn't it? 

I've realized that even if I miss up the worst in history, even if I do the most horrible thing in the world, that if I repent and turn back to God that He will forgive me. He will "never leave nor forsake" me. God's arm isn't too short to save. His ear isn't too dull to hear. He will hear your cry. So cry out to Him for forgiveness. Confess your sins. He is "faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 

Even if everyone else abandons us, even if everyone else rejects us, that's the great thing about God--He never will. God will always be there for you, if you're willing to come to Him. Don't fear. Don't be afraid. You have nothing to fear. God is always there.

It doesn't matter if you're embarrassed as asking for somebody's forgiveness. It doesn't matter if you're afraid. Whatever happens, in the end, if you believe in Christ as your Savior, you will be face to face with God, and at that moment, everything else will fade away. You won't remember the mean taunts and the sneers. You won't remember any of that. You will just know this--God is here. And He has rescued you.

Have a great day. <3

sometimes i just feel like i'm falling apart

why do i feel like i'm just falling apart?
like i can't do anything, right from the start?
why do i feel like i fail at everything i try?
why couldn't i believe i could soar to the sky?
why can't i have the hopes and dreams that you possess,
instead of being stuck here, unless,
you don't even care about what happens to me,
your own future is only what you see.
you don't care if i live or die
if i smile or if i cry
you don't care what happens to me
it's you--that's the key

why do i feel like i'm just fall apart?
i just want to get away, our ways part,
is all of this just my fault, or not?
you act like you hate me, but your face i sought,
i wanted to hear you say the words, to see your eyes,
to see if i could break through your guise
that clouds everyone else's thoughts
but not mine--i'm just full of complicated knots
i'm a confusing mess of emotions and feelings
and you just act like i'm some sort of dealing
you don't act even like i'm real
but guess what--this is the real deal

why do i feel like i'm just falling apart?
i don't even know where to start
my thoughts and feelings are a confused mess
it's filling me with depression and stress
i'm trying to work it out, but it's not easy
i'm just telling the truth, not being cheesy
i'm asking God for the strength to seek
so that that person can finally speak
and tell me why they treat me this way
instead of being battered, day after day

i'm going to do it
do it now
so i can get rid of this feeling
this feeling that i'm unloved
that i can't do anything
just get rid of the feeling
that i'm falling apart

I'm not falling apart anymore.

But I was.

Thank you, Lord. <3


lost... and found


lost.

the word makes me shiver.

but it's true.

i'm lost.

i glance around, but i don't know where i am. i can still remember the painful memory of leaving the house amid a torment of tears.

lost.

i hug myself, trying to get an ounce of warmth left. but even it, too, has gone away from me. now i'm really feeling lost. really feeling like no one's going to find me again, here in this cold, dark place. where am i, even? i don't know.

lost.

"anyone there?" i whisper. but there's no reply. there's no one here. i'm alone. scared. cold. tired. alone.

lost.

i collapse on the ground and cry. this isn't how my life was supposed to end! this wasn't supposed to happen! why was i here?! it didn't make any sense!

lost.

"help," escaped my lips. "help."

there wasn't any answer.

just a kind, gentle, lifting hand.

i kept my eyes closed. but i could feel them carrying me, their shoes stomping through the heavy snow. i could hear them, walking, mile after mile, carrying me. i didn't even open my eyes as i heard them walk up onto my family's porch, and lay me down on the porch swing.

my eyes flipped open.

no one was there.

but i think i knew Who it was.

"thank you," i whispered. "thank you."

i was found.

What's God Asking you to Give Up?

Hobbies and such aren't bad things, are they? In fact, they're amazing. They help you to get busy, try new things, and get out of the house every once in awhile... and maybe even learn a life skill that you'll need later on in life, whether you know that at the moment or not.

Like say I'm an amazing soccer player. (which I'm not. I'm not even sure I like soccer.) But let's just say that I was. It's OK--even good--to use my God-given talent, right? Why shouldn't I be on the school soccer team? Why shouldn't I play in college? Why shouldn't I go on to be a pro?

Those aren't bad things, right?

No, of course not.

But it can become something bad if it becomes obsessive for you--you're always practicing, always playing, always looking up new techniques... never ceasing. Your whole life is soccer. You're always rushing around, always busy, always preoccupied with thoughts of your beloved sport...

And then, you just put off spending time with God--put off reading, praying, memorizing, and fellowship with other Christians. "I'm busy." "I don't have time." "I'll do it later." Excuses, excuses, excuses. You do know that if you don't catch it now, you probably never will, right? Those things are good, but sometimes they get to be too much.

But how do we know if something's too much? How do we know if we're too busy, busier then God wants us to be?

We've got to be listening to God. We've got to find out what He's asking us to give up.

That doesn't mean that you'll never get to do the things you love anymore. Just maybe... not so much as before. If God's asking you give up something for Him, then you need to do it. If you listen to Him, He will bless you.

Spend time reading, praying, memorizing, and fellowshipping. Live, laugh, and love with God. And ask yourself, "What's God asking me to give up today?"

I'm Not Much of a Gardener

Today... is going to be big.

As in... lots-of-work big.

As in... weeding and dishes and possibly cleaning the puppies' papers big.

Eh, well, it probably won't be that bad when I get into it.

But the thought of it.

*shiver*

Oh yeah. I forgot the part about me killing myself as I attempt to jog/run for half an hour for my therapy for my knee.

But God will get me through it, right? ;)

I'm not really the gardening type of person, you know? I don't have enough patience. (I'm just the type of person who likes to play with lint when they're bored, and in that moment it becomes the most fun [and annoying to everyone else] thing ever.) I don't want to have to wait for that little to grow... I just want it to grow already. I'm working on impatience. But... it's kind of hard. I'm just always like, "LET'S GO LET'S BE DONE LET'S JUST GET THIS OVER WITH SO I CAN PLOP ON THE COUCH AND THINK 'I DID IT'!" Yeah, pretty much...

Of course, if you tell me that it's connected to my computer time (computer time=designing+writing+blogging=three of my favorite things), you bet I'll become a gardener over night. As in I'll water exactly as you tell me to and grow you really huge plants. (Yes, it's my fault that there's about eighty squashes downstairs in our basement...)

Do you like to garden? Or are you more impatient, like me? You know, I think about myself and I realize that I don't really have a lot of... "real life" good qualities. Like... I'm pretty shy and scared of doing the wrong thing. And... I don't like working outside. And... I'm horribly impatient. And... you get the idea.

Well, I'll talk to ya'll later. ;)

And remember, if you'd be willing to guest post, please be talking to me! I will be away for like the whole of August and unable to post/answer comments/comment on your blogs. Thanks so much!! :)

The Storyteller of Weston County, signing off...

My Life {Lately}

My dad's actually doing pretty great with his cancer. He hasn't lost his hair yet... (but we shaved it off. But it's kind of coming back...) But he's been having some other... problems. He hasn't puked lately, though, so that's really good. Please keep on praying for him. We're going to be going in August to the doctors to have radiation and then, ultimately, his surgery done to get rid of it once and for all. (hopefully) That's the plan. I'm going to be with them the whole time, so that means, like, the whole month of August. Which also means... *sniff sniff* Probably no time for blogger posts. (I mean, maybe like one or something, whether I have to run over to the library and a get on a computer there or steal my mom's kindle... but that's probably not going to be likely, huh?) So, if you're willing, I'm going to need more guest posters. (third time this year... what's been happening to me?!) Either that or I'm going to have to do scheduled posts like crazy.

And, um, no, I don't really like that idea.

My therapy's going really good. (if you didn't know, I tore my ACL in a skiing accident and now have to wear a neon yellow brace... oh yeah... I got to pick out the color ;)) I'm walking mostly without the brace now... at home, you understand. I always wear it when I leave the house. Mostly because we just don't want anything to happen to me, you know? You never know. The world is a dangerous place.

lol

Anyway, so we've been catching up on some yard work. Yesterday I got the job of weeding. (oh joy) It went actually pretty quickly, and I got a lot done. (I would attribute that to some of my favorite songs playing on the CD player hiding underneath the umbrella to keep it from over-heating.) Yes, "Words" by Hawk Nelson is very inspirational while weeding... ;D

This morning I was reading in Ruth (in the Bible...) and lately, I've been really just motivated to memorize a verse each morning, you know? I might not remember everything, but at least it'll be familiar to me. Or maybe God will bring it back to me when I need it most. Anyway, I was mostly wanting a story this morning, and that's why I chose Ruth. (because it all ends good... yeah...) Anyway, and I was thinking, "Maybe I won't really memorize anything this morning..." You know? And then I caught sight of some of Ruth's words (that she was saying to Naomi), "Where you go I will go, and where you say I will stay." And that just made me think of that one Christian song that goes like, "Where you go I'll go, where you stay I'll stay, where you move I'll move, I will follow you." I just highlighted that. I loved that.

Anyway, so, any volunteers for guest posters for all of August? :)

Talk to ya'll later...

P.S. Before I leave, a big awesome shout out to Rose, who's been so open and willing to help me. <3

Our Dreams are a lot different then Reality


It's true, isn't it?

Because I know one thing--as a kid, I always used to dream of becoming a nurse. Now? Wow, me, what on earth were you thinking?! I'd probably puke during my first surgery. Or get impatient when some paralyzed person asked me to get them a drink of water for the millionth time. Or...

You get the picture.

I would stink as a nurse.

[I don't remember this, but my friend told me that] When I was younger, I used to want everything to be pink--I wanted my hair pink, my skin pink, my eyes pink, my house pink... man, even my future husband to be pink!!

First off, pink? Really? I don't even like that color really anymore. (I mean, I like some shades, but it's not a fave.)

And everything? Talk about pink overload!

Our dreams are definitely different then reality sometimes.

Well, I mean, not all of them are. I dream of becoming a New York Times (#1?) bestselling author and having millions of my books sold all around the world.

I suppose that's a pretty good dream, right? But in a few years, will that even be a reality?

I don't know what's up ahead, but what I do know is that God knows what's in store for me, and He's going to be watching out for me.

While I'm at it... what are some crazy dreams that you used to/do have that are obviously not a reality now and that you would be willing to share with me and all the rest of the awesome blogger people out there? :)

The Storyteller of Weston County, signing off...

Guess What I Got!

Come on.

Read the title.

Now what on earth could I mean?!

Well, if you're looking at the picture, you might be thinking that I got a whole bunch of ice cream.

Um, no, sorry, that's not it.

(I wish. lol)

Really, the only reason I put that picture there is because it's burning hot here, I was working out because of my knee brace, and it looked pretty.

What I got, though, like I was first saying, *ahem*, is something that I've been wanting for what feels like forever. Something that I finally got this morning. Something that is absolutely amazing and that nearly all of you guys have.

I...

got...

a...

...PINTEREST!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh yeah. ;D

My name on there is Jessica Willow, because I love both of those names. :) Click here and check it out!! (and maybe follow? And repin? And like some stuff??) Anyway, have a great day!! :)

The Storyteller of Weston County, signing off...

Happy Independence Day!

Happy 4th of July!! :)

Ready for fireworks, horrible heat, fried chicken, and lots of fun? :)

Unfortunately, that's hardly what my 4th of July's going to look like, what with my dad having cancer and lots of stuff to be done around here. But I can always dream what the perfect day would be like, right? So here it goes...

My eyes flip open. I hold myself back from letting out a squeal. Today's the Fourth of July! I'm so excited. I flip off the covers and throw on my nice clothes that my mom had helped me pick out the day before. I rush up the stairs, where the rest of my family has just assembled. Mom smiles and gets the breakfast going. It's amazing--bacon, pancakes, and fruit. Then we grab our picnic basket, the volleyball and the football and head off for the car. We meet up with family and friends in the big park downtown for an amazing picnic. The moms set out the food, the dads sit down and talk in lawn chairs, and the kids rush off to play games. I join my best friends in playing an awesome game of volleyball. By the time the moms are calling us back for lunch, I'm starting to think I've never laughed so hard. The lunch is great! There's fried chicken, potato salad, black olives, pickles, chips, cherries, soda, and watermelon. After we're done, we run off to play more games. By the time supper rolls around, the parents take us off to a restaurant to have an amazing July 4th dinner with everybody. Then we hurry into the cars and head off to the park again to watch the fireworks. I lay out in the grass with my friends, eyes on the sky. Bright bursts of light break the darkness with a loud "bang!". This has been the most amazing Fourth of July ever. I smile.

Pernisia and Rowan--The Elf Group


By Poem Girl

I stared at Rowan in confusion and then at Caleb, why was he so mesmerized it was just a little girl and why was Rowan acting all weird and calling her a boy? I was beginning to distrust my own mind…I mean clearly Rowan knew more about this sort of thing than me and since all of us appeared to be seeing different things it made more sense just to believe her.

“Ca-Caleb…maybe we should step back.” I grabbed his sleeve and tried to pull him back with me but he resisted his blue eyes were strangely glazed over and he was constantly paying the little girl compliments…even if he was seeing something akin to an angel…THIS WASN’T MY BROTHER!
Slowly the haze in his eyes cleared leaving them a forest green, he started and fell backwards.

“What?!” He jumped back up. “Who are you creature.” He demanded in most unlike Caleb words.

“HE’S A CHANGER!!!” Rowan yelled. “Are you deft?!”

“Caleb…your eyes…” I stammered.

He turned to me. “What about them?”

“Caleb, They’re Green!”

“Nonsense...” But I could tell he was unsettled too.

“Don’t ignore me!” The little girl yelled furiously flying forward all reserve falling like a blanket revealing something that barely resembled an impish human boy.

“What is this thing?!” I shrieked retreating.

“FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME IT’S A CHANGER!” Rowan shouted renting her anger out with a mighty lunge at the changer who screeched and flipped over her making its way toward me with frightening speed. “CALEB, DO SOMETHING!” 


She screamed. He shook himself and grabbed a nearby branch and wielding it like a sword he swiped at it. “Not like that!” Rowan yelled frustrated running towards us but the imp boy…changer thing…whatever seemed not to notice, his eyes flashed and he thrust his pointy elbow into Caleb’s back Caleb screamed and momentarily lost his concentration just enough time for the changer to make his way over to me and as all seemed lost a large group of pointy eared people streamed from the forest; bows and swords out they pressed forward.

It was of course a band of elves. 


Rowan
By Me

Of course Pernisia and Caleb didn't know that the only way to get rid of Changers is to have an elf touch them on the forehead. Of course they didn't know that nobody else can touch a Changer without becoming under their spell until they disappear from sight. Of course they didn't know that I was trying to save their lives.

But they could have at least tried to understand!!

And now the elves were here.

Lovely.

"Get the Changer!" yelled what I know was the leader of the group. I knew, because he had a thin band of leather around his upper forearm painted with ancient elf language. I also knew they were a hunting party, because of the long spears they carried. They only carried spears when they were hunting. Otherwise it was bows and quivers for them.

A young elf about our age rushed forward and put his palm on the Changer's forehead before he could move. The Changer screamed and then disappeared.

"What on earth was that?!" shrieked Pernisia.

"Who are you, rogue elf?" the leader elf poked Caleb in the stomach.

Caleb's eyes grew huge. "I... uh..."

"His name is Caleb," I broke in quickly, stepping between the quivering human boy and the glaring elfin leader, "and he's really a human, but when he came here he became an elf."

The elf leader looked me up and down. "You're that rogue child. Rowan."

I lifted my chin. "Yes, I am. I am a Moon Daughter."

The elf stared at me. "A Moon Daughter?" His voice spoke reverence. He bowed down low to the ground. "You're one of the last of the Moonbloods."

"OK, OK, enough ceremony, break it up." Pernisia was all herself once the Changer was gone. "This is getting a little disgusting! I mean, groveling? Really? That's totally medieval age!"

"This is Pernisia," I introduced her. "She's Caleb's sister, also a human and a Moon Daughter."

"You must come to our camp," the elf leader told me. "We need to have you talk to the Elders."

A wolf howled in the near distant. I glanced around the forest we were in, and then back at the elf.

"You'd better make it snappy," I told him.

Confused? Click here to read the previous chapter, or click the Pernisia and Rowan label.

Waiting


i glanced out the window hurriedly, taking a worried sip of tea and almost spilling it all over myself. was he here yet? nope, not yet. i set down the teacup with a rather angry bang. he promised! i glance down at the table. my sketches and paintings cover the whole wood surface. man, i'd been busy this year. i hadn't even really realized it.

at the sound of a car coming down the street i popped up out of my seat to look out the window again. and sighed. it wasn't Dad. it wasn't even anybody i knew.

"come on, come on, hurry up," i whispered.

i hated waiting. hated it with a passion. and why was he late? he was never late. my dad was like the king of never being late. so then why was he? i glanced at my watch. ten minutes late, now. soon to be fifteen. then twenty. then thirty. then i'd call the police and report him missing. i know that sounds rather... well... overreacting, but you seriously don't know my dad.

i heard the sound of another car but this time stayed in a dejected slump in my chair. that's when i heard it--"Carrie?"

i rushed out of my chair, stumbled down the stairs, and threw open the front door. there was Dad, smiling, holding a package.

"sorry i'm late," he said, "but i stopped by the mall to grab this..."

i reached past the present and gave him a hug.

"i love you," i whispered.

"i love you, too," he told me.

OH MY WORD IT'S STILL HERE!!!!

Guys...

I just realized something...

GOOGLE FRIEND CONNECT IS STILL ALIVE!!!!!

*yes*

Q&A


From Sarah V.:

Q: Do you listen to "secular" music?
A: Nope, not really. The only really "secular" music that I listen to would be songs off soundtracks that end up on my computer and, like, Good Time. :D
Q: What's the farthest you've been away from home? (like how many miles)

A: Uh... across the country. =D
Q: Do you like Lord of the Rings?? If so, who is your FAVORITE character?!

A: Of course!! =D Sam, Aragorn, Arwen, and Eowyn are my faves. ;)
Q: favorite breakfast food?

A: PASTRIES. lol which I barely ever get. =P So let's go with my potato genius breakfast... ;D
Q: how old are you? (although I'm imagining you as being between the ages of 14 and 17)

A: At this point in history, I'm not answering personal questions like that. ;)
Q: any siblings??

A: Maybe, maybe not...
Q: do you want to get married someday?

A: Probably, but it depends on what God wants for my life.
Q: do you want to go to college? why or why not?

A: Yes, I do. I want to become a graphic designer.
Q: favorite candy?

A: Welllllllll.... I love all candy, mostly, but if I had to pick a fave... well, I rather consider chocolate a food group (lol), so maybe those sour gummy worm thingys? =D
Q: where would you most like to live (or visit)?

A: NEW ZEALAND. :D
Q: When did you really start writing? What do you enjoy most about it?
A: I started writing my first book when I was ten. (I really have no idea why...) I enjoy creating characters and plots that I enjoy and aren't stupid, and making them do what I want them to do!! :D
Q: What time zone are you in? (I didn't think this would be TOO personal of a question to ask...but if you don't feel comfortable answering it, I understand. :))

A: I guess I won't answer, then. Thanks for understanding. ;)
Q: How long will it be before your knee injury is healed up completely?

A: That depends. They're not sure yet... =P
Q: What made you decide to start blogging??

A: Well, I had this friend who had a blog, and I was like, "Hey, this would be a great way to share my stories!" So here I am. (:

From Layla:

Q: What is the most offensive movie you've ever watched? (Hehe. Mine would definitely be Waking Ned Devine:) I had to look away for half of the movie;))
A: For me it would be somewhere between Forrest Gump and Braveheart. =P
Q: What character in one of your books do you most relate to?

A: No brainer. Connie. ;)
Q: What book character do you most relate to?

A: Again Connie. It doesn't matter what authors make other characters in books like. Connie is just a part of me. ;)
Q: Have you ever cried when reading a book? If so, what book?

A: Yes. My own. Connie in particular...
Q: Same as ^ but with movie.

A: Oh yeah!!! Like War Horse? Oh my gosh, I would've started bawling in the theater if I hadn't been dared not to cry!! And Courageous?! Don't even get me started... *sniff sniff*
Q: What are your top 5 favorite blogs?

A: Oooooh. *blow* Well, I don't really like saying and then making everybody else feel like losers, so, yeah... =P
Q: What are you currently reading?

A: The extended parts of the 39 Clues series. :)
Q: Are you more of a tomboy or girly girl?

A: I am both, in different respects. I don't wear makeup, don't wear designer clothes, don't have an iPod or even a phone, and yet my hair's not cut short like a boy's, I don't hate wearing nice clothes, and I don't always want to run outside and climb a tree. So... yeah. Somewhere in the middle! :)
Q: Do you get mad when I tell you I'm gonna do something and then end up forgetting;)?

A: haha no, that's alright. I keep on forgetting about stuff myself. :D

From Kayla:

Q: What is your biggest pet peeve?
A: Oh my gosh. There's SO MANY!!! But... um... let's see... being really annoying ON PURPOSE, over and over, not listening, cheating (I. HATE. CHEATING!!), lying... the list goes on and on...
Q: What do you do for inspiration.

A: Well, usually I read my other stories and look at photos on pinterest. But if I'm REALLY dead, then I stop writing altogether for awhile. If I don't stress myself out about it, eventually an idea will come that fits together perfectly for my story. :)
Q: What is your favorite food?

A: Oh, wow! Um, like everything, except for mayo and tuna and sweet pickles and green olives. =D
Q: If you could go anywhere in the world. where would you go?

A: New Zealand!! :)
Q: Do you have siblings?
A: Maybe, maybe not.
Q: How long have you been a "storyteller"?

A: Since I was ten. Err, you mean on the blogger world? Well, that was since last year. :D
Q: When did you decide that you wanted to write?

A: I don't know. I was ten and I just randomly started writing... =D
Q: Would you ever think of revealing your name and age?

A: I think I would like to, but I'm not sure. ;)
Q: What is the most annoying song?

A: OH. MY. WORD. I hate annoying songs!! OK, probably the two most annoying songs are like that Julian Smith song (you know, the crazy YouTube guy??) that's like "Stuck inside your Head", err, something like that, and then that Anthem Lights song that goes like "I'm out of my mind mind mind mind mind mind mind mind mind mind..." I. HATE. THAT. SONG!!!!!!
Q: How did you find out about the 'blogging world'?

A: My friend had a blog. ;)

From Sara H (whose blog address I can't find right now):

Q: Do you do your designing completely from scratch or do you use some kind of program?
A: I use a program called GIMP, but I usually put it all together by scratch. GIMP is just my tool. :)
Q: What is your favorite Bible verse?

A: Probably John 15:12, "My command is this: love each other as I have loved you."
Q: What is your favorite Bible character?

A: Paul. :)
Q: Do you prefer long hair or short hair?

A: I love long hair. :)
Q: What is your favorite type of excercise/workout/sport?

A: My favorite sport is volleyball. ;)

From Cate:

Q: Why did you start blogging?
A: So I could post my stories here. :)
Q: how would you describe your style in 3 words?

A: Comfortable, bright, modest. :)
Q: How did you gain followers? 

A: Well, sometimes I used to feel like I needed more followers, right? But now I just want to make new friends. I love meeting new people. :) Ways to meet new people are to check out new blogs, either by clicking somebody's button on a sidebar or from somebody's blogger profile. ;)
Q: What is your favorite piece of clothing you own?

A: Probably my gray knitted Bearpaw boots. ;)

From A Silent Reader:

Q: What frightens you?
A: Fires, tornadoes, spiders, snakes, and bugs.
Q: Do you believe in fairies?

A: Nope.
Q: You say on your Bucket List that you've written a play; what's it about?

A: I actually posted it on here. It's a mystery comedy. :)
Q: When did you begin writing stories and why?

A: I started when I was ten and I don't really know why. :)
Q: If it's not too personal, what is the movie about that you are making with your friends?

A: Oh, it's about these medieval people. I'm a milkmaid. =D
Q: Would you consider yourself to be a brave person?

A: No, I wouldn't. I can get really shy. But I make myself do things. :)
Q: What do you do when you're bored?

A: First, I start singing or humming to myself. Then twiddling with my fingers. Then kicking my feet.
Q: Can you speak another language besides English? If so, what? 

A: I speak a little Spanish. iHola!
Q: Are there any tips you have for new writers?

A: First off, don't try and copy somebody else's writing style just because you like it. Do your own. Write what's easy for you to write, the way that you normally do. Second, don't copy peoples' ideas.  There's always a way to see a cool idea and turn it into another, but don't use the same exact one. Third, make sure you research things about your novel. That's something I have to work on, but it's really important. Like my friend and I were going to write a book together, and she came up for this address for our character in New Jersey, complete with the area code. "Is that the real area code?" I asked. "No," she laughed. "Then we can't use it," I pointed out. She wasn't very happy about the idea, but it's true. Make sure you get your facts right. If you're a young author, you're probably not going to be able to travel to wherever your novel is supposed to be placed at, but ask around, look things up on the internet, find a dictionary! It's really not that hard. ;) And last, but certainly not least, make sure that when you make your characters, they seem real. What's handy for me is making a little bio about them in a notebook, and just adding random things about them, like, "they think they're fat," or something like that. Just a fear, something that makes them more real in your eyes. You probably won't use everything that you put down, but if the character feels real to you, they'll seem more real to the people reading it.
Q: Is there an easy way that you have found of staying true to yourself online?

A: Staying true to myself? Well, first off, I want to tell you guys that I didn't really say anything about my Christianity on here until I really felt convicted by God to do so. And I just try to be myself. Everybody says that, "Be yourself," but sometimes it's not as easy as it looks. But that's what I just try to do. :)