It's Been a Long Time Since I've Been the New Girl

I haven't felt this way for so long; it's a nervous feeling that reaches up inside of me. Suddenly, I realize what it is--fear. Fear that something horrible will happen; fear that nothing will happen at all. So many different fears at the same time that bombard me and confuse me until I only know one thing... I'm scared.

Because soon? I'm going to be a new girl again.

I haven't been a new girl for so long. I've been the girl who knows her way around. Who knows where everything is. Who knows who everybody is. I watch from afar, introduce myself; I talk to people, make them feel at home.

But for a long time? I haven't been the new girl.

It's a weird feeling, after not knowing it for so long; it's a scary feeling, wondering if someone is going to walk up to you, and then wondering if, after all, you want them to. Would it just be better if they stayed away? I don't know. It's confusing. And then when something happens, you're scared at first; I'm scared at first. But will it become a good thing? Only time will tell.

It's been a long time since I've been the new girl.