You can't always win...

dear diary,

guess what? last night we played a game. and i lost again. as always. i don't want to talk about it.

love,
a girl

I sometimes feel like I always lose. I'm not even joking. Like... I seriously do. If I'm playing a team game, it's like our team stinks and the other team has all of the awesome people. If I'm playing a card or board game, it seems like I'm always in last. Have you ever had the feeling? Like you're a loser? And you can never win?

When I'm last... it makes me feel like I'm horrible. Like I should be doing better, but I just can't. And then everybody's like, "Oh, it's OK," and everything, and it just makes me feel like a baby sometimes. (ugh) Have you ever had that feeling? Like you're always going to be last, at whatever you do? And you can never do anything right? You can never win?

Lately, God's been showing me wrong a lot. I've actually won some games, which is surprising. It's nice to win something, isn't it? Because otherwise I just feel like... ugh, I just get this feeling in my gut, like your heart dropping, just saying, You're in last, and that's because you're stupid. I HATE that.

But God's been showing me something else other then that I can actually win--it's OK to lose. No joke. I know that sounds really stupid that I'm just coming to that point, but I'm serious. It's. OK. To. Lose. You don't have to win all the time. And the fact is, you can't win all the time. Believe it or not, there's always going to be something better then you at something in the world. And it's just learning how to gracefully accept defeat, laugh it off, and not have to carry the weight of losing. Because, come on, it's not your fault, right? ;)

You can't always win.

And that's OK. :)